Luka Pensa

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I suck at time management. Way too often I put off most important tasks for the late evening hours. Usually I get away with it somehow, with a promise to myself not to repeat the same mistake again.

Sometimes I keep the promise, but eventually I’ll go back and fail. It’s totally OK to fail, though, as failing means noticing the wrong and attempting to make a change. But sooner or later there is a day when all of it gets back to me as a boomerang.

I throw it too often, counting on it missing me. Playing hide and seek, it often flies by uncomfortably close. Still, I keep playing with it. But today, it finally got me. I delayed writing my daily article, a habit I’m trying to build, for the evening hours… just as I was getting ready to write, my son of four, Jakov, walked in and made pantomimic gestures, with a huge, innocent smile, exclusively for me.

I knew what time it is – he wanted to play Euro Truck Simulator 2, a game he literally adores, but isn’t available on his iPad. I was his last resort to finally play that game, just before a bedtime. His intentions were innocent and frustration I wanted to feel was completely my fault. It was me who postponed important, time-consuming task for the evening hours. I was also hoping for a longer evening walk with our dog, too. For some reasons I couldn’t make it in the afternoon, as I usually do.

Tension within was building up, but I somehow managed to revert it. I didn’t let myself start rationalizing, worrying and fearing what the outcome is going to be. Instead, I told him “Sure, you want to play game?”, closing Google Drive even before his final answer.

He climbed my lap and the game was started. A chance to play realistic truck simulator on 27” screen, what could be more awesome for a boy of his age? I’d have given anything to have that back in my days. Deep inside I knew my choice was right for I prioritized well. With tight time-constraint I picked from the top of ‘My priorities’ list, ready to face the consequences of my awful time management.

After going for a longer evening walk (finally taking care of my health – another priority), I came back, with great ideas to write on, but without much time in my hands. I wanted to write, but after exhausting day the flow was missing. I told myself it’s OK, today I failed big time. Lesson learned, let’s try not to repeat it tomorrow.

As I was just about to make a note how I failed today, but picked my priorities well, this article happened. In the end all pieces of the puzzle fell to the right place, it seems magical. Because this time I didn’t give in to my frustration and fears. Instead, I accepted the fact not all can be done if we’re neglecting some of it when we shouldn’t. And, it’d suck even more to neglect life’s top priority, again (yes, I cheated on him few times making false promises about that game) to justify my own failures.